Men, They heads dont think the same....

Here are a few answers to for someone special.. Number one, why would I write a blog about how much I miss someone. Other than my brother. Also, How stupid I look, for continually going back to someone who may never truly love me. Why would I write about my true feelings of rejection..... How many times, someone can hurt me, or about anyone, Im not interested in. I wrote a letter on here, to my brother, and asked the question how many guys can I date at once. One, would automatiically think, that meant each day, or by some means, with in a close proximity. But here's the scoop. When I first got divorced I dated a guy from Wyoming.... Well, he went back to his ex.. broke my heart... Then, As you can see from my blog, I met Ryan, my best friend, and camping buddy. I didn't write about all the times, he has broken my heart, and told me he didnt trust me. Im sorry that I can't and dont express myself well enuf then. Well, When and in my letter to my brother, I said that I wondered about guys, and please send me a good one. Well, I wonder how many guys it will take, before I find someone that wants to be the one. THE ONE> but that doesn't mean, dating more than one person at a time, it just means, that TIME in general, is huge.....When Ryan broke up with me for the upth time, I started to analyze it. Why do I keep going back after he thinks, he being alone sucks... When I was the one made to feel, like Something is wrong with me, and no one wants to be with me and wont in time, TIME being a general term, not a right here and now minute. Anyone, who can truly date more than one person at a time, is someone who has no feelings for other people. So, This, my family is why I have always chosen to date one person at a time. Giving each guy a chance to prove himself and for me to see what and where it is headed. Im sorry to the person this blog was intened for. This specific blog from today. This person has decided I was dating more than one person at a time, due to a sentence. It should have read, HOW MANY PEOPLE WILL I HAVE TO DATE, BEFORE I FIND A GOOD ONE. I THOUGHT I HAD FOUND THE ONE, AND WAS DUMPED ON MY ASS AGAIN......I keep picking up the pieces after each fall... well, glue only works for so long before the heart falls to pieces again. Over time, I will date many people but at one time, only one at a time...... Ask anyone, what would be smarter.... Im not stupid, Im only stupid when I think that possible, I may find someone, who truly loves me, and wants to be with me..... Relationships are full of confusion, complication and hurtful things, that most will not say sorry to. Please, all who read this blog today, read between the lines, and not on top of the lines, with out seeing where the truth lies....... The truth is in the middle somewhere, and most people fail to see what is real, especially when it is in their hands and or right in front of their nose..... This is the end, of another part of my life..... Do I dare move on... Im sick of it all... This life should be and is meant to be more meaning fulll, I keep trying to prove to one person who I am, and Im tired of it... If you could be a part of my life on a regular more consitant way, then you would truly know how truthful I am, and my family and friends would tell you the same.......Kara Sanders.........

Jason A. Tolman

I miss you more than my own life. You were awesome I hope you can hear me up there. Im sure you are busy, Your family is doing good, Norm is a good guy Kelly seems momentarily happy, and monitarily happy too. She's the lucky one. Think you can send me a good guy. I found a couple, one last summer, actually two, but all they both want their own lives and its a little time to start throwing up the red flags, and Im so in denial. How many guys will I have to date at once little bro. And in a year, I met two awesome people and here I am, still getting my heart broken.. You are up there, watch out for me, and make sure I pick a good one, send an awesome one, YOu know what I need. Pull your heavenly strings. I miss you. You were my only out as to who to talk to....... My kids miss you too,. They are with their dad for 6 weeks. I already miss them. Wish you were here to see them growing up. I"ll be sure to stop by the cemetary soon. Its hard for me.,,. I love you an miss you. I cry almost everynight especially now, that Im alone for so long. mentally and physically. Ryan is not even around. Either take me too, or make your self known occasionally. Love you older little sister. Kara

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Men!!!!

What shall we say about men.

All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise, By Daylle Deanna Schwartz

You can google that! This is the reason why, I don't associate dating, with my family, and after 2 months, did I dare to share my children. However they are dealing fine! Why subject yourself to gossip, being the family topic of discussion, or rumors. It is always like a game of TELEPHONE.

Chinese whispers

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Anyone remember that game? One person hears you say something, they tell someone else, and the whisper eventually comes back to you as something totally different. So therefore, all of you who are a part of my life, you better hope you hear it from me. So here goes. Ryan, no longer my boy. It's okay. He's a great person, a good year with fun activities. The kids had a great year. Camping was our favorite. Being single however completely single, is definitely not a fun part of life, unless you just don't care about anything. I've met a few strange people, a few awesome people, and well, been stood up too. It's all a learning experience.

So, I don't think I have any recent photos to post. I've been lacking in the area of taking photos. I will try harder. So, Kelly got married. Congrats to her. I'm sure Jason would be happy for her. As should all of us. She posted on her facebook, so look there. I will try to add her facebook to my list.

ONE WEEK LEFT of school. Yipee! Have a great week, day, month, whatever till I post again!

Halloween 2008 Mesa and Showlow.

RIP Jason.... This was the last photo I took of Jason, before his passing. Jason passed away on his birthday, January 2nd, 2009. During this Halloween, we went to his Church to go on a trunk or treat. Needless to say, he sat on the trunk the whole time. He was so good with the kids. They loved their Uncle Jason. There is a web page of his life and pictures, google Jason Aaron Tolman. You will find it there. Sure do miss him. He has 3 children and 1 on the way. He's probably holding her little spirit right now, waiting to send her down....

We spent Halloween night, in Showlow. This is Maddy, the cat, Ryan's mom, and part Shelby.

Maddy and Shelby having a good time again.

My brother Jeremy, and his daughter Kassandra, the cheer leader.

Little Jessia Lynne, Lynne after me. Cutie pie... Sweet and quiet..

Harley bear, batman, and part Lacy. Cutest red head ever.....

My niece Macy..... little princess...

All three of my kids. They always choose their own costumes. Hmmmm. Not sure about the scream death costume. We have never even seen that movie. Lacy wanted to be a witch, Shelby was Charpei from HS Musical, and Ronnie, well, whatever the scream movie calls it...
We had a good time. Went to Overguard, and went to a party at the fire station there.

Camping in the cccccoooolllldddd! 2008

This past year, we did a lot of camping. We went to places like Big Lake, and Woods canyon Lake etc. We had a good dirty old time.

This is my Ryan boy. Gary and Carol went and met us there on this trip. Above, is Maddy and her daddy. Buddies!

Brandon on Ryan's quad. The kids love to go quad riding, especially if it is a fast ride.

Maddy and Shelby sure are good friends. They always do fun stuff together. We made a fort out of tree limbs and sticks. It was really rainy on this trip, so we did a lot inside the trailer.

Shelby all smiles when camping.

Shelby and Maddy.

Ronnie does have a good time, just never smiles too much. Hates me to take pictures.. lol

BLAZE RIP Girl

This is BLAZE. She is Ryan's dog. Read about her in another posting. She was a good dog and a good friend. She was put to sleep on Monday, March 30, 2009. She had become paralyzed from the middle of the back down. RIP GIRL..

JULY 2008 SHOWLOW LIFE BEGINS

Lacy, obviously the beginning is below, still haven't figured out this upload pix thing..

Ronnie tried on the SCBA mask, that fire fighters wear, in order to breath through the smoke.

Some time near the end of June, I verbally, (not in person) met Ryan Turner. He is a fire Captain. I met him physically on July 4th, 2008 after the Show Low parade. Shelby and I were on our way up to grandma's in Eagar. Lacy and Ronnie were still in NM visiting their dad for the summer. On this trip, we went to Eagar and picked up my nieces. This same week, I was staying at my brothers, watching their kids and we held Lacy's birthday party. It was a pool party. Ryan and his two kids came down for the day..

This is Captain Turner heading to a fire. He wasn't in a rush, as he was waiting for the truck to come by and pick him up. Brush fire, behind Timberland Acres. Stupid guy without a burn permit it got out of hand.This is Captain Turner heading to a fire. He wasn't in a rush, as he was waiting for the truck to come by and pick him up. Brush fire, behind Timberland Acres. Stupid guy without a burn permit it got out of hand.

In his get up, clothing, hahaha waiting for the truck, the guys as he says.

Something about uniforms, I guess.

Ryan's son, Brandon. Thinks he is cool. First time he met me, he told me a story about an eyeball. Funny kid... He is...

Lacy trying on Ryan's fire gear. She said, "this stuff is too heavy to wear to a fire."

Summer Trip to Wyoming with Friends!

Matt Schneider, Thayne Wyoming. We had a bbq with friends, and he brought his son over. It was a late night, but fun.













The signage on my drive to Jacksonhole, Wyoming. We had a good time. Lance took me up there to sight see... lol There was this really cool arch made out of antlers. A really cool candy shop, and I did get a few souveniers to bring home.










This is a professional photo of Lance during a Rodeo. He is a bull rider. He travels all over the nation, to enter rodeo's. He was a great host and we did some fun things. I even got to go shooting.











Playing video games was quite the adventure. I think I won most of the time, or at least they let me win.. I think Lance thought that if his hat were on backwards, he would have a better chance at winning.











I messed up, this is a duplicate. Too lazy to change it. Lol
We saw some up close and personal, BISON, on the way back from Jackson Hole. I could almost touch them out the window..

Lance McFadden. It's always fun talking to the Ex. Lance called, he recently decided he had found the next Mrs. McFadden. We'll see.

It was absolutely beautiful there. I took a ton of photos, and well, let's just say, there was no doubt in their minds, that I was a tourist. They just won't all fit on here, and downloading them would take all day, and night, and then the next day too.

Lance, on our drive to SLC. He had to take me back to the airport, so he could go play golf with his friends. Very gentlemanly, NOT... No big deal. I had a great time, and a good vacation. I met some great people and heard some great things. Music especially.

My June 2008 trip to Utah

This is my Aunt Christine Heap-Tano. She is my dad's sister. She lives in Utah, amongst her kids. Her first hubby died of cancer. I remember going to their house as a child and staying for vacation during the summer months. We didn't see them much as children. However, we have a great bond now. She has a dog named Bell, and comes to visit for a few months at a time, every year. Her second hubby died shortly after they were married. She has been through a lot and has many experiences in her life to share.




Aunt Christine at Alicia's home, in Tremonton, Utah. Tremonton is in the very north of the state, and it is windy and cold.













We went to the Temple grounds in Ogden Utah. It was beautiful. And all the flowers were in bloom. The rock texture, is really neat. This is my cousin Alicia, and her 3 children. They were a great deal of fun to play with.

My hair was so curly and Dang I was tan this summer. The air was very moist there, so it was useless to straighten my hair each day. Hence, the curly hair...

The kids and the Az Temple

Kristen Fisher. She was our neighbor in Silver City, NM. She came to stay with us, last summer, during her band camp. She got to play with a huge group of college kids from the state. Can't remember what it was called. Great experience for a high schooler.. She was great.
The girls really like Kristen and her family. We are at the Arizona Temple Grounds, and the weather was perfect..

Shelby Lynne

Lacy Ann

Ronald Alan, Ronnie, with an actual smile. Grandpa promised him a dollar for every pic he took with a smile. Hahaha pay up grandpa Rod...

Country Thunder 2008- Florence

Jenn and I worked for Country Thunder, for the Tribune. Her hubby is a regional guy there. We were able to go back stage for all our favs. We had a really good time. We sold Newspapers during the day, and concerted at night. We stayed in a huge RV that the Tribune provided. She and I had a great time. There were so many people there and crazy one's too. This is the cute fiddle player, for Pat Green. Can't seem to remember his name. who cares?

Back stage and up above all the musicians and people. It was great seating, and we could see everything. The artists were so great and were all very nice to us. Some great Autographs.

Pat Green, and The fiddler again. Dang, I can't remember his name.

It was Jen's birthday, and we suprised her with a cake, or her hubby did. Don't they look great. Celebrate with a cake, after having the lap band surgery 2 years ago.. lol

Told you, he was cute. It was a long week. We worked hard and played hard too. It was fun.

I FOUND SOME OLD PHOTOS FROM 2008. SO I WILL BACK TRACK A LITTLE BIT. LOOK AT THE BLOG JUST CAPTIONED 2008 MISC PICS. NOT MUCH HAPPENING. NOT A GOOD BLOGGER. HANGING TOUGH HOWEVER. CAMPING, ALOT OF CAMPING. IN FACT WE WENT CAMPING LAST WEEKEND, AND IT WAS SO COLD. THERE WAS SNOW STILL ON THE GROUND. KIDS HAD A GREAT TIME, THAT IS ALWAYS WHAT COUNTS. MY FRIEND KIM AND HER KIDS HAVE BEEN LIVING WITH ME. CAMERON LIVES WITH ME TOO. KIM WILL BE MOVING OUT ON FRIDAY, AND GOING TO TUSCON TO GET MARRIED... LUCKY GAL, NOT! TEACHING IS GOOD, 8 MORE PLAYS TO RUN. THE KIDS ARE RESTLESS FOR SUMMER ALREADY. THEY WERE SURE TO LET ME KNOW, THAT THEIR DADDY IS GETTING MARRIED. IM SURE SHE'S NICE. I WAS. FOR SPRING BREAK, WE SPENT MOST OF THE TIME IN SHOWLOW. THE WEATHER IS PERFECT THERE. AND SO ARE THE FRIENDS WE HAVE THERE. RIP BLAZE GIRL. RYAN'S DOG BECAME PARALYZED LAST WEEKEND. FROM THE MIDDLE OF HER BACK DOWN HER BACK LEGS. SHE WASN'T IN PAIN, BUT DIDN'T UNDERSTAND. FUN TIMES, BECOME SAD TIMES. I'LL FIND A PIC. HER NAME WAS BLAZE... LOSS, IT IS INEVITABLE!